Feeling stretched between running your studio and showing up fully at home? In this heartfelt episode of Your Studio Podcast, Chantelle and Michelle get real about the myth of work-life balance – and why trying to “do it all” might be costing you more than you think.
If you’ve ever felt the weight of the invisible load, this one’s for you. Tune in and take a breath.
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Transcript:
Chantelle Bruinsma (00:40)
Is the hat too shadowy? No, we’re good.
Michelle Hunter (00:40)
It’s live or no. I love it. I wish I had a hat to cover these bags, but
I’m not. These are the times I wish I had Botox.
Chantelle Bruinsma (00:51)
and lots of concealer.
Michelle Hunter (00:52)
There’s no concealer under these bags or these freckles.
Chantelle Bruinsma (00:56)
Hey everyone, it’s Chantelle Bruinsme here and I’ve got Michelle Hunter by my side as always and this is the Your Studio podcast. We’re so happy to have you here. Today is our final episode of the season. Can you believe it?
Michelle Hunter (01:09)
I can’t believe it’s gone so quick. It’s been so fun.
Chantelle Bruinsma (01:12)
We are just loving this and we’re getting like, we just found out we got like 5,000 downloads of this pod just recently and it’s all just firing and we are very, very grateful for you guys all being here. So ⁓ today we’re gonna talk about something less studio related, more life related. We get asked the question all the time like, how do you balance it all? And Michelle, what would be your answer to that, to work and life?
Michelle Hunter (01:36)
⁓
We don’t.
That’s it. There’s no magic answer. We’re not. We’re not balancing it all. Let’s make it very clear.
Chantelle Bruinsma (01:46)
Let’s make this entire episode
very clear. There is none. We are not succeeding at that. like, cause like life is just throwing us curveballs. You were at emergency last night, right? Like life is hard.
Michelle Hunter (01:55)
⁓
Yeah, just
full disclaimer. I am embracing the realness of this episode. As you can see, there’s no makeup. There’s no concealer. There’s big bags. I was in emergency all night because we thought for the second time Maverick had broken his wrist and it all started from a snakes and ladder fight with his younger sister.
Chantelle Bruinsma (02:22)
That game.
You know it’s bad when someone breaks their arm. Snakes and ladders Bloody siblings. ⁓
Michelle Hunter (02:29)
from playing snacks and ladders.
my goodness. And just the juggle of, you know, Mitch is still on his way home from work. So I had to appease everyone and I had to get to emergency. And then the first place was shut. Then I had to go to the bigger hospital and just the waiting and the, and then the kicker, I got home, you know, wonderful. His, his hand wasn’t broken or his wrist wasn’t broken, just sprained. Then the 18 month old started vomiting when I got home. It’s not the second shift. It was like the fourth shift.
Chantelle Bruinsma (02:44)
It’s so horrible, hun.
No.
No,
no, it’s just too much trauma in one 12 hour window. It’s just too much.
Michelle Hunter (03:03)
Yes,
but I’m not alone. I’m not alone. There is so many mums, partners, caregivers, studio owners, you know, doing the same thing day in, day out. it’s, nah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (03:13)
But surely in that moment you weren’t thinking that. Surely in that moment you’re thinking
like, what the actual fuck? How is this happening to me right now? Like the projectile vomiting after being six hours in emergency, like that’s just some cruel taunt, right? That’s a cruel taunt. You don’t deserve that.
Michelle Hunter (03:20)
So this is messed up.
It was really cruel. It was just
crap. It was crap. Yeah. I’ll look, I’ll, I I won’t deny it. I was just, and then I couldn’t sleep cause I was so, I was so, I was so wired. And you know what’s funny? When Mav was getting the x-ray, I was shaking in the x-ray room. I was like, is it really cold in here? And the x-ray said, lady said, I think you might just be going into aftershock of something. Cause you’re like, you’re full shivering. And then Mav’s like, Mum you’re scaring me. Are you all right? And I’m like, Oh my God.
Chantelle Bruinsma (03:36)
Gosh, you couldn’t sleep, of course. How could you?
way of hot.
Michelle Hunter (03:59)
It was just like physical. It’s physical.
Chantelle Bruinsma (04:00)
honey
it’s brutal brutal and I love you Voxered and me saying so I’m probably going to be like have a slow morning and then I’ll get into forecasting I was like what no you can’t do forecasting after that your nervous system has been through that.
Michelle Hunter (04:12)
Yeah. And can I just… And excuse
my language, what a dick thing to say. Like, I’m going to take a slow morning and foreca- Like, no, I’m not. Stop kidding yourself. You’re an idiot. Don’t say that.
Chantelle Bruinsma (04:26)
No,
honestly, Michelle, it wouldn’t surprise me. you, there are versions of you that would have got into forecasting today, but you’re learning, I think, is that we’re learning our limits.
Michelle Hunter (04:32)
It’s like, we’re learning
and it’s a journey, right? It’s a journey. The more you realize that you can’t do it all and you don’t have to, like what’s going to change today if I did that forecasting today compared to tomorrow.
Chantelle Bruinsma (04:47)
So today we wanted to talk about a little thing called the invisible load that women carry this whole bullshit concept of balance and what that actually the pressure it actually puts on us I think is the kind of the realness that we feel. So full disclaimer I have two children I’ve got a seven-year-old and a four-year-old Michelle has three children which is about a thousand in my opinion.
Michelle Hunter (05:04)
Mm.
I just say the
probability is higher for something to go wrong. That’s the more, yeah, that’s what it is.
Chantelle Bruinsma (05:15)
Yeah.
The more children, there is more happy chaos.
Michelle Hunter (05:19)
That’s right. That’s right. Or bad chaos, like last night in emergency. But yeah, I’ve got to, and now I have to think it’s not like two, I could recall really easily. Now it’s like, I’ve got a nine year old, a seven year old and an almost two year old.
Chantelle Bruinsma (05:22)
Thank you.
So cute. I think that what Michelle and I like, what has always bonded us together is like, we fricking love being a mum. Like we are devoted to being mums and we really work hard at being really great and present and attuned mums. And we also are mums who love what we do as well. And that tension between the two is hard to navigate is the truth, right?
Michelle Hunter (05:59)
I really, it is, it is hard because, you know, when we talk about like, we always feel like this was like calling to be a mum, like we’re so happy and you know, we’re so present and everything, but we also do love to work. And it’s, when you say that balance, like balance implies it’s perfect, which is just doesn’t exist. So I think, and I don’t know how you feel about this Chantelle, but I think when you are a working mum, which when you love both, the reality is that there’s sacrifices that have to happen in some areas of your life that you’re not.
Chantelle Bruinsma (06:18)
you
Michelle Hunter (06:29)
well actually that you have to be comfortable with ⁓ in order to keep going, I guess, or find that level of calmness. Well, it’s not really calm because I’m not calm, but you know what mean.
Chantelle Bruinsma (06:32)
Mm.
Mm.
You have a real aura of calm but I what I feel is internalised you’re highly stressed. we externalise calm but internalise like…
Michelle Hunter (06:51)
So.
So your tagline is when something stressful happens at a live event, Michelle’s calm but inside she’s burning down everyone. She’s burning down. I know that face, but it’s true, right?
Chantelle Bruinsma (07:05)
I
see Michelle go into this like glazed look sometimes. I’m like, I’ve got this, I’ve got this, I’ve got this. But inside she’s, yeah, she’s feeling it, feeling things. ⁓
Michelle Hunter (07:15)
You’re feeling it, but it is, it is,
it is a trade off of sacrifices. And you know, for me, I don’t, I don’t have a big social life, you know, that I, that I used to, or do you hear that? Does that, does that kind of resonate? Yeah. Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (07:25)
No. None.
I don’t have a social life much. I have
neighbours who live 400 meters that I happen to see on the street and I’m thrilled and I love them.
Michelle Hunter (07:36)
I love it.
And you know what? And I’m okay with that at this point in my life. You know, I think there’s seasons even, ⁓ you know, how adventurous me and my husband are, you know, things that we used to do, like we used to love working out together. ⁓ When does that happen?
Chantelle Bruinsma (07:41)
Yeah. ⁓
My husband and I
don’t even sleep in the same bed anymore. We co-sleep with our kids because we needed sleep and that was the best option. Like there are, there’s things you think your life is going to look like and then your life actually looks like right now. But it is the best decision. And like, again, this is the, you get to the point of this isn’t working. And I, what’s best for the holistic family is we need this. And so yeah, we have to make decisions of socialising right now. I’m not going out for dinners much with girlfriends and that’s okay.
Michelle Hunter (07:54)
There you go. Yep. Yep.
I don’t know.
Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (08:21)
because I get my needs met in other ways.
Michelle Hunter (08:24)
Yep. And do you feel there’s a pull because like I have a lot of friends who are such amazing mums and they try not to sacrifice. So they still want to give their kids all the experiences. They still want to do all the things. And I, and I take my hat off to them like, honey, but you’re to burn out. Like I’ve been here. I’ve done that. And sometimes I think it’s like that saying of like, well they’ve got their shit together. They don’t want to drop the armor. They don’t want to drop the facade of like, sometimes I think it’s okay to say, no, I don’t have my shit together. And I just can’t.
Chantelle Bruinsma (08:40)
Yeah, yeah.
Hmm.
Michelle Hunter (08:53)
There’s things that I have to miss out on for this point in my life to make things work.
Chantelle Bruinsma (08:57)
It’s that kind of, because you can do it all, but what the cost is is how you feel, I think, right? You can, but the cost is going to be how you feel. And for the mums out there who, you know, I’ve got really close girlfriends of mine and each of their kids does three activities and they’ve got three children, like, and then they work really demanding jobs as well. And that time pressure I feel is really intense on the mother to facilitate because it’s…
Michelle Hunter (09:01)
Yep. Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (09:24)
You’re the one kind of remember, ⁓ it’s Tuesday today, so they’ve got to wear sports uniform. they’ve got to have their reader booked. they’ve got to get prepped for news. I’ve got a birthday party. I’ve got to buy the present for on the weekend. Like when there’s more noise and more activity, there is more. so, mean, Michelle, you’ve watched my journey of the past couple of years. I’ve really embraced the idea of slow play and minimal activities for our children. Mainly because, I mean, my kids are seven and four. There’s plenty of time for them to do lots of activities as they desire.
Michelle Hunter (09:42)
Mmm.
Chantelle Bruinsma (09:52)
I’m putting a lot of value on imaginary play at this stage of their life. And to give them imaginary play, they need long stretches at home, just where they can be creative. And like over the weekend, we played hotels. And so Madeline put like the hotel room numbers on each of the doors and we had key cards. had to go to the check-in desk, which was all set up. There was a bell and then Delilah was the doorman. And we got our bags carried. Like it’s things like that. And then, you know, I, right now in my life, if we were doing soccer on a Saturday morning, they couldn’t do that.
Michelle Hunter (10:21)
They can do that.
Chantelle Bruinsma (10:22)
they’ve got so many years to play soccer, but this little window of imaginary play is what I really value. So we’ve made decisions as a family to prioritise that, right? And so it’s kind of deciding where you want to put your time and where you put your resources. Your kids need activities, like Mav needs to be playing sport. That’s really important for him as a kid.
Michelle Hunter (10:41)
So
it’s funny, you’re like that dynamic, because we were crazy. You remember when I’m doing like heaps and I’ve scaled it down to 50%. So they only do two activities each now. I know that sounds crazy. So they only do two activities each, but for me, what’s a non-negotiable is I take them to school and I pick them up every day. then, you know, Chantelle, I am a bit, ⁓ even when Mitch is home, I like to go with them to do pick up and drop off. I love that I’m their constant.
Chantelle Bruinsma (10:47)
Yeah, I remember. I remember.
Hmm.
Yeah, right.
Michelle Hunter (11:09)
drop off because I love like seeing the mums. Yeah, I try to, unless we’ve got like a big meeting or in launch week or traveling, but I like to be that constant in the morning and in the afternoon because there’s so much, there’s so much as you know, me and Chantelle work very different. Let’s just kind of paint the picture. Let’s get there first. So Chantelle’s like, if she’s in, she’s in, she’s like in a room, all or nothing. 0 to 100 focus, focus, let’s go.
Chantelle Bruinsma (11:10)
I didn’t realize that.
Yeah.
Wow, that’s beautiful.
Yeah, let’s go there. Let’s go to our different work style, shall we?
well, Zero to 100.
Michelle Hunter (11:38)
Me, I could have a toddler at my feet, race car in the background. Let’s explain how our offices are in the house, Chantelle. Let’s just paint this.
Chantelle Bruinsma (11:46)
Yeah, this is actually
the best of definition. Where’s your office?
Michelle Hunter (11:49)
Yeah, so
it connects two living spaces. I have an office built out and from one living space to the other, they have to walk through the edge of my office to get through.
Chantelle Bruinsma (12:03)
Just off the kitchen, just where all the kids are playing, where there is noise and games and you’re in the middle of it, but you need to feel connected. You need to feel totally immersed around the kids and you can’t, didn’t we try a few years ago, you went to the back room and you put your office there.
Michelle Hunter (12:12)
100%. Yep.
So we changed our
whole house around. in COVID where I redesigned all the kids rooms, repainted the rooms. My husband nearly killed me. And I was in there for three months and I said, I can’t do it. have to go back into the main. I need to hear noise. I need to hear them.
Chantelle Bruinsma (12:20)
I’m Ruvah.
Thank you, Mitch.
You need to be close to your babies. It’s beautiful. I need to be far away from my babies in order to work.
Michelle Hunter (12:33)
Yeah.
do it to work. But in saying
that, that’s because I am like that. So I do have a very hybrid approach. And because of that, I do a bit more hybrid hours in different times of the day. Cause I like to be more connected when there’s quite, when they’re independent playing. So that’s why the non-negotiable for me is, the pickup. I like to be their constant before they go to school, when they get home, and before an activity. So.
Chantelle Bruinsma (12:43)
Mm.
Yeah.
It’s
so beautiful. It’s so beautiful. But I’m someone who my office is from the lay you walk past the laundry, you walk past the media, you walk up a flight of stairs and then like above the garage, like a whole different section of the property. Because I find that when I’m around my kids, I am super present and connect. I don’t like to be on my phone around the kids. I like to be kind of so when I’m working, I’m working and when I’m a mum, I’m a mum. And I have really clear identity around that.
Michelle Hunter (13:09)
onto a landing.
Chantelle Bruinsma (13:27)
and that works for me and I can’t concentrate. I can’t work around my children. I just can’t. I don’t have the skill set.
Michelle Hunter (13:31)
But I think that’s
great as well, cause you’re also presenting like, you know what I mean? Like you are the face of our company. ⁓ and it’s great. It’s like just that hyper-focus. It’s like, love it. Cause you’re all in, you’re all in, but we all, but we all work.
Chantelle Bruinsma (13:34)
Yeah, it’s different.
I do have hyperfocus for sure. Undiagnosed
ADHD, but very genetically likely.
Michelle Hunter (13:46)
Yeah, same
here. ⁓ but we, all have different styles, right? So we all have different non-negotiables and then that also feeds into the invisible load because with the activities, it’s, it’s funny. You said something about the birthday present. Can I tell you that is my un- doing? That’s the extra. That’s all it takes, right? I can do all the activities. can pick up. I am like the snack queen. My kids are very spoiled. like to, I.
Chantelle Bruinsma (13:58)
Mm-hmm.
but their presence takes me over the edge.
That’s all it takes.
You are, I’ve seen
you have little mini bottles of ketchup that you give your kids when you air fry little chicken nuggets for afternoon tea and you put tiny little baby, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Super mum.
Michelle Hunter (14:24)
I know
it’s just, but it’s cute. They, they love it. It’s like the highlight of their day. They get like a little snack box at four o’clock and then, cause my kids need to eat before they do sport. And my, my niece who’s 16 said, can you start making me snack boxes after school? I’m fine to do that. And I’m fine with all the other mental. But then it just takes the one little extra thing and I’m done.
Chantelle Bruinsma (14:32)
I wish I got a snack box at 4pm.
Yeah.
Michelle Hunter (14:48)
The load that I was carrying so well that week has derailed.
Chantelle Bruinsma (14:52)
How does that play out in your marriage?
Michelle Hunter (14:54)
No
Well, I’m going to say, cause he’s very busy traveling overseas at the moment. So he’s not going to be listening to this episode. His friends will. So share around friends. uh, I am very emotionally immature when I get into these moments. And then I like to bring out like the list of the mental load that I’ve been carrying instead of, instead of just, instead of just being a mature human being and just saying, can I have some help? Perhaps could you help me get this present? I’m like, do you know what I’ve.
Chantelle Bruinsma (15:00)
you
Yeah, the list. I’ve talked about the list too. my God, the list.
Mm. Mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
Michelle Hunter (15:27)
been through this week and then he’s like,
Chantelle Bruinsma (15:27)
Mm-mm. Mm.
Michelle Hunter (15:28)
here we go. He’s like, he’s like, okay. I’m just going to take a seat. Yeah. And then I’m talking, he’s like, ⁓ might pour myself a beer. Cause this is going for a while. I am just, I just kind of like, I just get so worked up because I’m so happy doing the invisible load. I’m like, yeah, I’ll take it on do it all. And then it just takes the one thing and I spill over.
Chantelle Bruinsma (15:32)
Get your scroll out.
you
Michelle Hunter (15:54)
Do you similar? I don’t know. That’s me. Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (15:55)
It’s true. I
am full in solidarity with you. fact, Travis can… I’m not leaving you hanging at all. I’m wearing the hat. I’m flying the flag for passive aggressive wives.
Michelle Hunter (15:59)
Okay, good, was like, please don’t leave me hanging.
yeah, yeah, okay. my gosh.
Ok I’m not alone. I wonder if anyone else is.
Chantelle Bruinsma (16:10)
But it’s really hard.
It’s really hard because we’re tired. like, it’s in my marriage, it’s like, Travis is, and the tricky thing, here’s the other thing, right? Michelle and I are married to really excellent men. This is is really good, we give really good husbands. Like genuinely devoted. Go have your careers.
Michelle Hunter (16:24)
So sweet, so tolerant.
Like, they’re like, go travel the world, go teach studio owners all over the world, go have your careers. We’ll support you.
We’ll stay home with the kids. So let’s, this is disclaimer.
Chantelle Bruinsma (16:40)
We have really great husbands and we are, still we are struggling with the inequity in our marriages.
Michelle Hunter (16:42)
But still, I’m petty. I’m a petty woman.
gosh. It’s like I could be right, Mitch could be sitting right there and they’re still saying, Mum like, his, I’m like, his that, can you?
Chantelle Bruinsma (16:57)
⁓ we have a game.
We have a game that’s like every time the kids say, mum, Trav Trav has to do a squat. It’s like, mum, mum, mum, mum, mum. It’s real. It’s real. It’s real. It’s real. And it’s like, because for me, it’s also the I’m the person who traditionally like will remember like the kids need to have a dentist appointment booked. The cat.
Michelle Hunter (17:06)
I’m so bringing that in.
⁓ my gosh.
Bye.
Chantelle Bruinsma (17:24)
has to have a worming tablet. It’s those types of things that are important and that matter and that fall on me to do. Travis is also like, he’s amazing at doing things. He will just start tidying up. Travis does a lot of our laundry. Travis will just go clean the, he’s immaculate. He is an incredibly, I’m married to a tidy man. What a joy. His wardrobe is color coordinated. And then you look at my side of the wardrobe. Oh you have seen it!
Michelle Hunter (17:37)
He does everything he’s so immaculate. Yeah
Very tidy. You should see how the clothes are folded. It’s crazy. It’s amazing. I know I saw it. That
Chantelle Bruinsma (17:54)
Don’t judge me. I know I feel that.
Michelle Hunter (17:54)
little photo shoot. Okay, I’m not, I’m not. Visible load, visible load.
Chantelle Bruinsma (18:02)
But it’s like we are married to really, really good men and still as women, like we, this, the emotional load of like, of regulation. think that is what’s really hard because we’re doing so much cognitive load of organising and prepping and remembering and planning and anticipating. And then you’ve also kind of got to do the, the emotional thing of like,
Michelle Hunter (18:04)
Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (18:21)
they feel? Are we validating the children’s feelings? Like how are we kind of relating in that way? And it’s difficult when you know I think I speak for both of us but like our husbands go to the gym but we don’t go to the gym as much because there’s not space to do so and that’s where we get like resentful is the tricky thing right?
Michelle Hunter (18:24)
Yep.
Oh yeah, 100%, 100%. And we probably could go.
Chantelle Bruinsma (18:47)
But we choose to be there for dropping our kids off and picking them up from school. So here’s the thing, we are choosing, we’re making decisions in our life based on our values. You and I value being really present at this stage of our kids’ lives. We know it’s short window and we love being connected with our kids. So I happily will choose to leave school, finish work at 2.15 p.m. so I can go pick up Delilah at 2.30. Happily. And that means I don’t get to go for a walk.
Michelle Hunter (18:49)
Do you think?
Yeah, 100%.
completely.
that again.
Chantelle Bruinsma (19:17)
or go to parties. That’s my decision in this stage now. 100 % good life choice, really, you know.
Michelle Hunter (19:23)
And
again, it’s a season. It’s not forever. We’re not going to be missing Pilates and missing burpee box jumps forever. Those gains. I was going to say you’ll never want to a burpee box.
Chantelle Bruinsma (19:30)
⁓ I’ll never miss them is the truth. I’m never missing a burpee.
Things I will never miss burpees. But look, I feel it’s this kind of understanding and deciding what your values are. know, Michelle and I have found a good blend. We’ve also been to burnout several times in our careers. So we understand now. And I actually feel like I’ve got a ⁓ pretty good work balance at the moment, kind of like.
like with the intensity and with the kind of how I’m prioritising and like I’ve put stronger boundaries in. I’ve kind of, you this year’s been the first year that ⁓ I’m taking all school holidays off. So I’m taking 12 weeks of leave this year, which is huge. And I definitely, it is huge. My team knows it is huge. And there is definitely, I have to grapple with the team want more of me. And I have to grapple with the fact that I’m not available as much as they would like. And they kind of would like, like,
Michelle Hunter (20:03)
Yeah.
huge.
Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (20:27)
more and I know that in my job this is a long-term game like I’m not going anywhere so it has to be sustainable and this season of my kids life is so precious and I guess for me like I worked crazy hard for the first two years of Madeline’s life my first child and I’m not getting that back and like this is the time and so I’ve made that sacrifice of well if I need to be as a company if we’re going to be a little bit less profitable
Michelle Hunter (20:33)
Yep, yep.
Chantelle Bruinsma (20:52)
because I need to hire someone to support it, so be it. I will sleep well at night and know I’ve I’ve sacrificed nothing. I’m giving myself permission to have the time off in the school holidays that I want with my kids and I don’t want to miss a thing. That does put more pressure on me when I do come to work because I’ve got to deliver, right? But I’m okay with it.
Michelle Hunter (20:53)
So be it.
And that’s something that I’ve actually,
I was going to say, I’ve become really okay with that. It’s like, when I come back, it’s like, I’ve got to push a bit, but it’s like, I just had school holidays. And it’s funny, Chantelle, you and I have just started to cross over a week. And the first time the company Chantelle and I’ve been really comfortable both taking a week off, because we’ve got an amazing team, right? And the best team. And I’m actually really comfortable that when we come back, it’s like, yeah, we’ve got to a bit of a sprint at the beginning of the term, because we’ve had some time off and the team need us a bit more. But again, it’s like those seasons.
Chantelle Bruinsma (21:14)
Mm.
Yeah.
The best team, the best team.
Michelle Hunter (21:38)
we are okay and there’s times to push and I don’t think, you know, when our kids are so young and we’re carrying so much load, this is not the time.
Chantelle Bruinsma (21:41)
Yeah.
This is not the time. This is not the time. This is not the time.
Like we are hanging in there and we are doing the best we can with our careers in a stage that needs very intensive parenting. Like we are in and like I think, you know, one of our mentors, Sam, we love her to bits. She’s got kind of teenagers. She’s like, it doesn’t get easier. Just so you know, it doesn’t get easier. It’s just different hard. we’re like, that to us. Yeah.
Michelle Hunter (22:08)
And she’s got three boys, right? And we met her
when she was transitioning from that young to teen phase. And she just says to us all the time, you guys are so in it. You’re so in it. I remember that age. You guys are so in the thick of it. And I think one thing that we’ve learned Chantelle, I’m really proud of us are holding values. When like business is going well and you we’re enablers, you get these great ideas. like, I was like, I could implement that in a week. We can roll that out. We could.
Chantelle Bruinsma (22:13)
Mm.
Yeah, we’re very enabled, you and I are terrible enablers.
Michelle Hunter (22:37)
Do that, we could change lives with that. But we don’t have to do it all. And I think designing things with bit of spaciousness, cause life happens. And if you don’t go into something with a bit of room, cause stuff happens in a business, right? You got staff turnover, emergencies, people are sick. Our kids get sick. We get sick. Like if we get the flu, we’re out. It’s, you’ve got to account for that.
Chantelle Bruinsma (22:51)
Mmm.
We get sick.
And also the joy in the creativity, like particularly like we’re in planning stage to roll out a new program here at Studio Evolution, a high tier kind of program, exciting. Spoiler alert, and it’s largely gonna be me facilitating it. And so like a lot of the conversations we’re having was like, how can I make this sustainable for me to deliver? And knowing that I also need space to be creative and be a leader and to be, you know, have the visionary ideas. And if I’m presenting every day, it’s very hard for me to do that. So it’s…
Michelle Hunter (23:19)
Yep.
Chantelle Bruinsma (23:32)
trying to find an understanding of my work style with what’s important and balancing the growth of the company and also honoring the season I’m in and how I want to be in myself. In fact, I think this is a little funny aside that it’s not just how I want to be as a mum, because I think you and I are really good at being great mums. It actually is like, I want to be a nice wife. It’s the thing, right?
Michelle Hunter (23:51)
And you know what, since
you’ve started to say that it’s been really like, we’ve been coming back to that term a lot when we’re planning trips, work life, live events, and a hundred percent totally like reframes. Cause being a good mum, it’s different, like being a good wife, there’s a lot more to think about.
Chantelle Bruinsma (23:59)
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, what would my life need to look like for me to be a nice wife?
Michelle Hunter (24:15)
you need to pick up that birthday present on the way home.
Chantelle Bruinsma (24:18)
I’ve started
all this ordering in bulk. like, there’s those great, ⁓ yeah, I actually just bought five of the same books that I just like, it’s like done, it’s in the cupboard. But then Trav, Trav gave away the last one, we had a birthday party and I was like, okay, it’s fine, I’ll just, I’ll just.
Michelle Hunter (24:21)
Mm. Yep.
you’re a betcha you’re such a betcha
Chantelle Bruinsma (24:37)
on it. Thank God for Amazon. Thank God for Amazon. Yeah so if you’re taking anything from this episode…
Michelle Hunter (24:39)
I love Amazon.
So our advice
is you can’t balance it all.
Chantelle Bruinsma (24:51)
You can’t balance it all. Honour the season you’re in. That’s it.
Michelle Hunter (24:56)
That’s it. And then what is, what is the cost if you do try balance at all?
Chantelle Bruinsma (25:01)
Oh, oh, I know the answer to that question. It’s me being in a corner. It’s me in a corner with a bowl of Doritos.
Michelle Hunter (25:04)
Mm.
Yeah, just like manic breakdown. Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (25:14)
not nice wife. If I can’t balance, if I… is that what you asked or was your other question?
Michelle Hunter (25:19)
Yeah, like what happens if you do try balance at all? If you’re like.
Chantelle Bruinsma (25:21)
What happens
if you do try balance at all?
Michelle Hunter (25:24)
Which I think
is you’ve just answered it. Cause I just, I just don’t think it can be. When you’re running a business and you’re thinking that you can have this romantic ideal balancing it all, it, I don’t know. It’s very hard. It’s just, the cost is yourself.
Chantelle Bruinsma (25:29)
No.
It’s very hard. And like, you for studio
owners, you’re, you’re delivering the teaching, you’re kind of doing the prep. For me, it’s kind of, you know, the, the school holidays, the time where I do get to slow down, like, and that for me has been really important. So it’s maybe it’s designing the studio to be like, you know, I have minimum X amount of weeks per year where I’m not teaching the studio and we just close the studio for a month over the summer. And I know that that is my time. That’s non-negotiable. And it’s worth us kind of actually having that time off versus running a few programs that aren’t very profitable.
Michelle Hunter (25:56)
Yep.
Chantelle Bruinsma (26:05)
But for the benefit of me having that break time is actually worth it. You can teach all the classes, but God knows that has a huge cost as well. Right? Know what you value.
Michelle Hunter (26:05)
Yep.
Yep. And the thing you said before,
like moments of profitability. I’ve heard you say this in live events before to studio owners. It’s kind of like buy your own maternity leave. If you need to escape buy your time, just know that you are not going to be super profitable or taking X amount home for that month. You’re going to pay for the help.
Chantelle Bruinsma (26:22)
Yeah.
That’s right, because like you don’t get this time back. So like there’s plenty of time to make money. Like when you’ve got young children, you’re in a season of your career that’s not forever. You’ve had a different season when you can hustle harder. You will have a season again when you can hustle harder. Right now you can’t. And it’s that hard truth of like, could, even right now, Michelle and I, we could be so much more profitable. We could be earning so much more money. We choosing intentionally to not.
Michelle Hunter (26:47)
Yep. Yeah.
Chantelle Bruinsma (27:00)
I think that’s really important to hold we are choosing intentionally because we want to do school pickups. We want school holidays off and we’re proud of that, right? Like this is not all about money.
Michelle Hunter (27:00)
Yeah.
Yep. Yep. We saw it. And we saw it.
We’re on the same page too. And I think it’s something we do come back to because we get carried away with planning sometimes. We could do all the things and as women and as mums and as carers, you can do all the things, but you don’t have to. And in this point in our life, we don’t want to.
Chantelle Bruinsma (27:15)
⁓ I cried.
No, we don’t want to. We want to be there for our babies. We want to have really good, you know, relationships. I’m also, you know, doing some, lot of therapy. So every two weeks I need half a day to kind of have therapy and then recover from therapy. Right? Like those are the decisions of like what I’m choosing and what I’m valuing. And like the business has to kind of work around that. So it’s the worthiness of understanding what you value for yourself. And then, well, if the business had to deliver it, that’s it.
Michelle Hunter (27:36)
Yep. my gosh, yep.
Chantelle Bruinsma (27:53)
And I know that we’ve got some privilege that, I’ve been running this company for 14 years. Michelle has been with me for the last two or three years as a co-owner. We have got a legacy business, right? But even so, like it’s just find the creativity of like, if you did need this to be delivered, like if I came to you and said, like, I will give you a million bucks if you close the studio for four weeks over the summer. I mean, that may not be, may not be the best example because like the million bucks would pay for the four weeks, but.
Michelle Hunter (28:13)
You make it happen.
Sorry.
Chantelle Bruinsma (28:19)
It’s that type of like thinking like what would it take? How could I crack it open, crack open your brain a little bit more and think how could we? This is the question. What do you value? How could you make it happen so you can sleep well at night and know when you look back on this stage in your life, you were a nice wife. This is what I ask myself.
Michelle Hunter (28:37)
You know.
Yeah,
every day.
Chantelle Bruinsma (28:43)
Ha
Like to close this episode with gratitude to Mitchell Hunter and Travis Bruinsma.
Michelle Hunter (28:51)
100%.
Chantelle Bruinsma (28:51)
for
their devotion and undying love and for the men that we married.
Michelle Hunter (28:55)
And so supportive to our
crazy idea. have crazy ideas. Like all the time. It’s like, Hey babe, we’re going to start a reality TV show. And they look at us. They’re like, Oh yeah. And they entertain us. They entertain us all the time. I love them. They’re the best. Yeah. We are. Yeah. Good men. And that’s a big one guys. Thank you for, we wanted to be a bit more vulnerable.
Chantelle Bruinsma (29:09)
I know, but they believe in us. We’re so lucky. We’re so lucky. We married good men. Good men.
No.
Michelle Hunter (29:23)
And there’s nothing more than that than seeing all my freckles and pores in HD. That’s very, it’s just, it’s very tired.
Chantelle Bruinsma (29:28)
Skin actually looks beautiful, hun. Skin looks beautiful. Given you’ve had
zero sleep multiple nights in a row, looking great, looking great. So our advice to you and my advice to you, Michelle, is to go have a nap, okay? That’s, have fun. Yeah, that’s it. Everyone has permission. No, there’s no Venn diagrams. There’s no models. Go have a nap and we’ll see you next season.
Michelle Hunter (29:41)
Yeah. ⁓ no, no hot tea. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Love it. No, no Venn diagram. Three point.
Thank you guys, we’ve loved every minute of it. We’ll see you soon. Bye.
Chantelle Bruinsma (29:56)
Bye.
